Little Blonde Monster: An Introspective Perstpective (or Retrospective) on the Respective Year.

perspective - 5 dictionary results
per⋅spec⋅tive [per-spek-tiv] Show IPA
–noun
1. a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.
2. a picture employing this technique, esp. one in which it is prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.
3. a visible scene, esp. one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.
4. the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building's composition is a failure in perspective.
5. the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.
6. the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship: Your data is admirably detailed but it lacks perspective.
7. a mental view or prospect: the dismal perspective of terminally ill patients.
–adjective
8. of or pertaining to the art of perspective, or represented according to its laws.
Origin:
1350–1400; ME < ML perspectīva (ars) optical (science), perspectīvum optical glass, n. uses of fem. and neut. of perspectīvus optical, equiv. to L perspect-, ptp. s. of perspicere to look at closely (see per-, inspect ) + -īvus -ive

New Years Eve, 2008. Heidi's place of employment now, who knew?!

With a deteriorat(ed)ing relationship dictating the interaction I had with my father, and the onset of severe abdominal pain, I slid gracefully into the ninth year of the new Millennium. By the fourth week of January, I was in an outpatient surgery facility, about to be scoped end-to-end as an attempt to determine what was causing this terrible agony. Yet the results showed that nothing was physically wrong. Somehow I was unable to recognize that the explosive and sometimes frightening interaction with my family, specifically my father, subsequent to a reunion with my philandering boyfriend, Rob, might actually be to blame for my physical symptoms.

Heidi had come back to Phoenix at this point, and in the lingering beneath our friendship dynamic was also a desire to have a pure friendship with her. I don't know why, but I felt that while he was still in my life, my energy was so consumed by negativity that I was nearly incapable of holding an enjoyable friendship with a person who cared for my simply and truly, without the obligation of shared DNA.

Yeah Yeah Yeah's show

I got rid of Rob at the end of January. No longer did one of our breakups result in a lost appetite or spells of sobbing at stoplights. I felt free, now. Free from the constant yelling and torture from my father, a tactic terrifying, yet somehow effective...especially when dealing with a hard-headed pain in the ass such as myself.

Gay Rodeo in Vegas

Four months later, May 4th, 2008.

The day before my birthday, I go to the office of the home health agency with whom I am employed for our regular weekly meeting. After the office my young and chipper supervisor invites me into the HR directors office for a "chat."
I could've cut the tension with a knife and frozen my own tears in a climate that once hosted man-bashing, story-telling of drunken mistakes, and sharing meal recipes.
Her: "In the past six weeks you have had (x) amount of referrals and (y) amount of admissions."
Me: "Yes I know," I replied, "I don't know how to get my referrals to convert to admissions, my job is to generate referrals."
"Her: "Your job is to generate 'qualified' referrals," she responded, "and if you do not improve your conversion rate in the next four weeks, we will have to take further action to which may include termination."

I took the next day off for my birthday as planned, got my first tattoo, and returned to work the following day. By 4pm that Thursday, I had been called into the office from the field, and officially terminated. Why they initially gave me a probationary period only to fire me two days later, is still a great mystery.

On the train to spring beerfest

Psychological studies show that divorce or separation from a loved one, losing ones job, and death of a loved one, are the top three causes of a mental breakdown. In 2009 I experienced two of the three, but somehow as close as I came to experiencing the third in 2004, the other two seemed so minor. My father would have been weeks from death when he was diagnosed with cancer Christmas of '04, and at the time we didn't know if we would lose him shortly thereafter. Every moment at the end of that year was spent with horrific anxiety and praying that my father would not yet be taken from this Earth.

Young Jeezy show

I managed to become gainfully employed once again within three weeks of my termination, and discovered more about myself in the longest period of time I've spent without a boyfriend since the age of 16.

I guess the point I am trying to make, is that life experiences, how you handle them, and the result that ultimately manifests, are all products of one another.

A great book, "Zen and the Art of Happiness," gives the example of a young man who was fired from his job, and was so depressed that he became addicted to drugs. When an even better opportunity came along, he failed the drug test, thus losing the opportunity. Had he handled the loss of his employment with positivity and strength, the situation which seemed to be tragic at the time, would have soon revealed its purpose in his life course.

Lil' Wayne show

I found out two days ago what is going on with Rob as of late. After our breakup, Rob moved to Denver, CO. He was working within a company division of healthcare giant United Health Group. I had told Rob when we broke up that his (male anatomy) would get him in trouble someday, probably fired. Well, it seems as though while in Denver, Rob struck up a relationship with a subordinate employee. HR didn't look too fondly on that, and Rob was terminated from the organization. Mind you, this is his second termination from a large company for unethical behavior. The woman, apparently, is a wealthy divorcee with two small children. She and Rob married in October, and he is now acting as step-father to their two children, driving her Range Rover, and living in her upscale Denver home, unemployed. I pray for the well-being of these children, as Rob is a true narcissist and arguably also an alcoholic, and has now injected himself into their homes, lives, and bank accounts.

But I simultaneously thank God, and my family, for saving me from a similar fate.

Coronado Island. Ocean-view condo

2009 has dealt me some losing hands, but I have grabbed 2009 by the proverbial cojones, and showed it that my previous experiences have proven to me what is truly important in life. I have demonstrated to myself that I, Elizabeth Ann, am in
control, and no one will ever take that from me.